FISH BOWL

I stopped at the bank today. The lady asked me if Allen was doing better after his illness last winter. She is one of Allen's patients and I guess hasn't been to see him for a while. Of course, I said he was fine and I decided to tell her about the adoption. She was very interested and excited to hear our news. Allen had the dengue fever last January and people STILL ask me if he has recovered. (Last they heard, he was in the hospital on his death bed!! :) I think it is very sweet when people ask and it makes me glad that I live in a small town.

When we moved to Cambridge, someone referred to life in this community as a FISH BOWL. This town is small enough that...as you become involved and build relationships, there is a lot of overlap in who you see and what connections you make. The people you work with...are the same people you sit next to at your daughter's swim meet... are the same people you see in the grocery store... are the same people you go to church with... are the same people that you live next to. Unfortunately, there are times when there are disagreements and uncomfortable encounters. People talk and talk and talk... That is NOT so good. Usually, sooner or later, what comes around, goes around and it is hurtful. In spite of this, I think that living in a FISH BOWL is good because you can't hide. You can bet that that person who drives you most crazy will sit at the table next to you at Perkins or be on the same school committee...or (heaven forbid!!) that their son is dating your daughter!! Then what?? You can either choose to ignore them or do your best to get along. Avoiding them is SOOO much easier (and believe me, I've been down that road!). Life is so much better when we are forced to settle our differences and be accountable in our relationships. It is hard, but so healthy for us. Living in a FISH BOWL is good for me. It is a never-ending journey and I think that I am only now starting to get it.

On the other side of the FISH BOWL...there is nothing better than living in a small community when things go wrong. As we (and many others) have faced a crisis, people always rally around to do whatever they can to help. Maybe it's a meal, or a phone call, or simply a kind word. Maybe it's the lady at the bank who simply asked about my husband today. It was a small thing, but it meant a lot to me. It is called the FISH BOWL effect and I think I like it. I think I'll stay right where I am and keep growing in my little FISH BOWL.