OUR DECISION TO ADOPT - PART I

Our decision to adopt has involved a series of events which we believe started over 20 years ago. It might be helpful to know what things have influenced our decision to add to our family at this point in our life. I believe that each of these events have been significant in our decision-making process. Let me warn you that this posting is going to be long so please proceed only if you have the time and interest in learning about this part of the adoption. I'm quite sure this will be the longest blog I ever write!

*February-1987 - Allen's good friend and medical school colleague (Karl Oase) died just months before graduation. It was a very sad time for us. Karl was a part of the first missions group to visit CSC (Children's Shelter of Cebu). He talked often of his experience at the shelter. As a tribute to his life, we began supporting CSC through their foster friend program. This was our introduction to the shelter that would one day care for our own three kids.

*December-2005 - Our family attended a Mercy Me/Stephen Curtis Chapman Christmas concert. Allen had started to talk about adopting prior to this, but until that evening, I wasn't even willing to budge. SCC and his wife have adopted 3 girls from China and he usually makes a presentation during the evening promoting adoption. I started to feel my heart change that night and after the concert, I(secretly) picked up some information. Later that evening, I told Allen what I had done and asked him if he was still interested. Much to my surprise, he said, "No, I don't think it is a good idea for us."

*June-2006 - Allen and Kristin travel to the Philippines with our 15 other highschoolers (and 3 more adults!) from our church. They spent time at CSC and came home excited about the work that was being done at the shelter on behalf of the children. Of course, they all fell in love with the little ones, but at that point, Allen had no desire to adopt. Frankly, I was relieved! Kristin, on the other hand, was sure that someday, somehow, our family would adopt from CSC. Each person on the mission team was assigned to one or more children at the shelter as a "special friend". Kristin was assigned to Roselyn. Little did she know that she would one day be her sister.

*Spring-2007 - Paul Healy sent an article highlighting a sibling group of five in the CSC newsletter. After reading it, Allen could not stop thinking about it. He could not sleep for several nights. He tried to visualize how we could accomodate 5 more children in our household. Because he had visited CSC and knew these kids, it was so hard for him to let it go. Allen describes this as a "defining moment" for him. He started to feel the call to adopt. It took him a few weeks to muster the courage to tell me about this. I, being the wonderful, supportive wife that I am responded with a hearty, "NO!! It's not going to happen!" This, of course is not the end of the story. God kept working on us, but it took a while longer before we got on the same page at the same time.

*June-2007 - Kristin graduates from high school. Life for our family was about to change again as we prepared for her to leave for college.

*Fathers' Day-2007 - I will remember this day for a long time. It was a wonderful day for our family. The five of us were gathered in our screened porch when we started talking about a possible trip to the Philippines. Everyone was "on board" and excited about a trip to CSC. Then, somehow the subject of adoption came up. We spent a long time talking about whether this was a good idea for our family and/or even a possibility. We were eager to get their input. It was a great discussion! We thought that adopting 2 girls - ages 6-10 would be a good fit. (God had something else in mind.) Lindsay, Kristin and Steph were very excited, but we all left that day realizing that a decision like this would require a strong sense of calling, patience and much prayer.

July-2007 - Lindsay and I attend an informational meeting at Crossroads Adoption Agency.

*January-2008 - Our family of five traveled to the Philippines to visit the Children's Shelter of Cebu. Most of our time was spent helping in the classroom, doing medical work, and simply "hanging out" with kids. We had a wonderful time and didn't really think about adoption until the last couple of days. Allen and I had a sit-down chat with Paul Healy one afternoon. Our purpose in talking was to discuss various ways which we could be helpful to this ministry. That included everything from medical support to educational needs to adoption. It was at that point that Paul shared with us about the sibling groups that hadn't yet been placed for adoption. The Romano children were mentioned and he said that no one had expressed interest in this sibling group. I will probably write about some of Paul's comments in another blog, but our talk at Starbucks with Paul that day was another significant event that took us one step closer to deciding to adopt. We left the shelter to spend a few days at a resort to relax and reflect on the previous week. The discussions we had with our kids were priceless! I will always treasure the time that we had in the Philippines with our oldest girls. We would not have decided on adopting without the full support of each of them. Their insight was very mature, compassionate and respectful of Allen and me. The next step was to let some time pass to just ponder and pray about what we had experienced. Next event - Part II - Dengue Fever!!!




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