MILESTONES AND COUNT DOWNS

1. OUR FILIPINO CHILDREN ARRIVED JUST SIX MONTH AGO!

2. KRISTIN IS COMING HOME IN ONE WEEK!

3. LINDSAY AND BJORK WILL BE MARRIED IN ONE MONTH!

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1. I CANNOT BELIEVE... that our kids have been here for half of one year!  I remember vividly being at the six-week mark.  Right now it seems more like 2 or 3 months.  Time flies when you are having fun, I guess!

People ask me all the time how things are going with our new family.  I never really know what to say.  Sometimes it feels like people expect me to launch into this long dialog about how hard it is-confirming their expectations.   The thing is, I have their attention for about 1  minute and how do I really explain about our life in that amount of time?  I could spend all day just talking about the transition for ONE of our kids, let alone all three.  It wouldn't be fair to give them the long version anyway. Mostly, people are curious and genuinely interested.     Others smile and fully expect a smile in return with a hearty "GREAT!".  I appreciate their confidence in how things appear to be going.  The truth is...the answer is somewhere in between.

Of course, it is difficult.  You can't expect to transplant three people from one culture to another OR...one family into another and not have some rough spots.  It would be unrealistic.  We knew that going into this.  We have all been learning about each other this last six months.  We are learning about each other's personalities, our strengths, weakness and even our annoying habits.  (We all have them!)  One of the biggest things we are still working on is how to READ each other.  The other night, at the dinner I was joking about getting in trouble with Allen for something.  He told me that I wouldn't have computer privileges for a week and that I was grounded from seeing my friends.  (This was all communicated with a wink and a nod.  He certainly didn't show any anger.)  At any rate, later that evening Romeo asked which friends I would I not be able to see...  He really thought that I was in trouble and he felt kind of bad for me!  It was really quite sweet.  All of that is to say...that we still need to be very careful in how we communicate our thoughts to each other.  The opposite has been true when our kids have tried to joke about something and we didn't really get it.  Maybe some of it is cultural, but I guess we need to keep working for good communication.   

One thing that I want to mention is a change in my own feelings.  I believe that love is a choice and/or a decision.  Sometimes that is the hard part about loving someone unconditionally.  I have had lots of opportunities to exercise this kind of love in the last few months...with each member in my family.  This will be a life-long process for me because it goes against my own self-centeredness.  It is hard to love when you don't feel like it!  But I believe with all my heart that this is what God asks of me every day.    On the flipside, love is indeed a feeling.  Like most adoptive moms, I have wondered if I would love (the feeling) my adopted children to the same extent as my biological children.  I still don't know the answer to that.  I may never love them exactly the same way, but I also don't have the 16-23 years of history that I have with Lindsay, Kristin and Steph.   Having said that, I am experiencing those feelings of love more and more for my youngest kids.  I don't know if I can explain it, but I can FEEL it in my soul.  I think about them when they are gone.  I get frustrated when they are home.  I love to be close to them.  I worry about them.  I am so proud of them and I get hurt by them.  Those things only scratch the surface of what I feel..but it definitely something that is growing in my heart day by day...and I think it is good.  I know it is good.

Back to the original question.  That was a long answer to..."After six months, how goes it?"  It is challenging.  To blend a  family is complicated.  The dynamics change.  Our concept of "family" has been redefined.  We have our "moments" and it is very tiring.  BUT, overall it is going so well.  Roselyn, Romeo and Rodrigo are very bright and capable.  We see so much potential in all of them.  They all seem to be connecting with the "old Mork family" and in their new environment.  They seem to be HAPPY and secure.   We still have a long journey ahead of us...but really...so far, so good!  For those of you who have asked, thanks for your interest!

2. KRISTIN IS COMING home next Friday.  We are all so excited to have her back in Minnesota!  She adds a different dynamic to our family and we have all been missing her.  It will be great to include her in the rest of the wedding festivities!

3. THE WEDDING IS...one month away!!!  There are lots of things to do and "crunch time" is upon us, but I can honestly say that I haven't felt too panicky about anything.  Maybe I should?? I think that perhaps it is because Lindsay and Bjork are so organized.   They have helped to make this experience a lot of fun!  The next month is going to fly by, but I am looking forward to all the celebrating.