GOODBYES

Today was our last day at the shelter. It has been quite a week of many different adventures and experiences. This morning, we did a craft for the older girls. It was fun to share it with them. It was fun for them. We have been helping with some decorating in the three houses. My sister has been in charge of that one and she did a great job creating some cute wall hangings and such. It was John Ray's birthday (a 16-year-old boy with brittle bone disease). He had been deathly sick a few months back so it was nice to see him celebrating his big day. Finally, we had to say "goodbye". The children sing a touching song for us and there are a few words and a prayer of blessing. There are lots of hugs and a few tears.

There were a few times this week where I just stopped and looked around. I tried to imagine our kids while they were living here. It really wasn't to hard to do... I could see them running around, playing basketball, gathering around the table for meals, playing board games, roller blading (that would be Rigo!) and just be-boppin' around... I know that their memory still live here with the children and staff that are still here. I am so thankful for this place that they called HOME for three years. It was a good place where people loved Roselyn, Romeo and Rodrigo. It is so refreshing to talk with people who knew them and can share stories of their younger years. It helps to put a few pieces of the puzzle together. On the other hand, some days I am so sad for all the time that I missed with my children. There is so much that I cannot know and so many things that I don't know or understand about them.

Roselyn, Romeo and Rodrigo have already changed so much since the day they came. I know that there is only a small window of time where they are in our home and under our care. That makes me sad. I guess one thing that I am trying to learn as I reflect on this week and the last 18 months is to live one day at a time and trust God for whatever comes next. I have no control over their past, but I can try to do my best and enjoy ALL my kids today and help them make good choices for the future. I don't know why that should be so hard, but it sometimes is. There is a lot to absorb after seeing and experiencing things that are new and different, but I will keep trying to process it.

I loved this visit, but I am ready to start back to the rest of my family. I miss them! Tomorrow we are going to a resort for a couple of days then...the long trip back to Minnesota.