WEDDING INVITATIONS

Saturday was the day that we addressed wedding invites.  It was the first of many celebrations to come!  It was the first of many gatherings where our two families get to spend some time together... and guess what??  It was all good.  We had a great time!  Of course, we took the opportunity to have a little brunch before the work began.   It seemed like good reason to have a party, right?

It is amazing when you start to think of all the details that go into JUST the invitations.  What should the invitations look like??  How should the R.S.V.P. look?   Who do you invite?  Do you say "Mr. and Mrs." or use first names?  Is it ever ok to abbreviate?  Who has the best hand writing???  How do you place the various cards into the envelope?  How do you tie the ribbon??  Is every address correct?  Did we forget someone (horror of horrors!)?

June 6 is not that far away.  Now that the invitations are finished, it certainly feels like this wedding is REALLY going to happen.  Here's what I say to that.  Bring it on!!     

FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS

The men's ministry of our church puts on a Father-Daughter banquet every year.  It is a nice occasion that gives fathers and daughters an excuse to dress up and go out.  I guess you could say it is kind of a date!  Allen, Lindsay, Steph and Roselyn looked so good.  It warmed my heart to see them together!  The reason I was there?  I had a date with MY dad!  The six of us took up most of one table.   I thought of Kristin several times during the evening.   We had a great time, but there was definitely something missing...  :(  Maybe next year, all the girls will be there for the event.  The older I get, the more appreciative I am of these special moments.  Thanks Dad for taking me!  

RODRIGO IS TURNING SEVEN!

Rodrigo turns seven on April 4th.  Unfortunately, I will be on my way to visit Kristin in Spain on that day.  :(  We decided to celebrate yesterday and it was a GRAND time.  Rigo's lunch request was mac and cheese, sliced apples and a chocolate Speed Racer cake!  It just doesn't get any better!  Allen and I bought a skate board for our son...along with wrist guards, of course.  It may have been a mistake, but...oh well, we are now living on the edge with our daredevil boys.  :)  Actually, Rodrigo is a natural and already maneuvers the board beautifully.  What a happy day to celebrate our little guy's 7th birthday.  Rigo's teacher told me that he was talking all about his birthday, the cake, the balloons and gifts today.  What a sweetie!  And...what a gift to us!  

PERSPECTIVE

HIGHLIGHTS of this last week would include:

1.  Kristin's acceptance letter to Bethel's nursing program.  Good job, Kristin!

2. Celebrating my mom's birthday!

3.  Stephanie's trip to Colorado with the concert choir.  They had a great time!

4.  Unexpected phone calls and texts from Steph while she was gone.

5.  Numerous encouraging words from some good friends.

6.  Shopping and lunch (2x!) with Lindsay.

7.  Steph got a job!

8.  Roselyn has started track and seems to be really liking it.

9.  I received nice email from Roselyn.

10. I had a nice chat with my future son-in-law on the phone.  He made me laugh!

11.  I got a package in the mail from my thoughtful husband.  (It was a book on Italy.)

12. Hugs every day from the boys.

13. A SKYPE call from Kristin today.

This is a great list, isn't it?  I know that there are many more things I could add to this list.  So why do I keep thinking that last week was such a difficult week???  Maybe it is all in my perspective.  I need constant reminders of God's goodness in my week because I have a nasty habit of focusing on the bad things.  A friend of mine encouraged me a few months ago to make a list of 3 things that I am thankful for each day and  I have been working on that little assignment.  As I look at my list of highlights, I see a lot of GOOD stuff that happened in the last week.  Yep, I do have a lot to be thankful for.  Living with gratitude is a great way to keep perspective.  Thanks to YOU for helping me with that. 

KITE FLYING SEASON

When our kids were still in Cebu, they would tell us about flying kites.  They made their own kites and would have a great time at the shelter flying them.  They would have "kite fights" to see who would have the last flying kite.  There is an art to flying kites, and Romeo and Rodrigo know how to do it.  

We went to the playground after school today to fly kites.  I didn't think that there was enough wind to be very successful, but evidently I was wrong.  The boys got their kites in the air with very little effort and watched them fly around for maybe 30 minutes.  What a great activity!  Romeo was definitely the master kite flyer and Rigo was the grunt man.  "Run, Rigo, run!!  Throw it up!!  Run!  Faster!!!"  Poor little guy.  He didn't seem to mind though.   He did just what his big brother told him to do!  I wonder if it will always work that way!?

SWORDS IN THE SNOW

Our boys are so into light sabers, swords and Kung Fu.  I'm still not sure if this is a good thing, but it seems to be a good way to burn off some energy.  I looked out the window today and saw Allen in a vicious sword fight with Rodrigo.  I'm not sure who was loving it more, Rodrigo or Allen??

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!

My mom will be 83 on Sunday.  I can hardly believe it!  Maybe it is because she doesn't look like 83 and she certainly doesn't act like 83!!  Mom is alway up for going, doing or helping.  She HATES to sit still.  Today we went shopping for a dress.  Lindsay met us at the mall and we had a nice lunch together at The Macaroni Grill.  When the server found out we were celebrating her birthday, she brought out a GIANT piece of chocolate cake.  It was enough for four people!!!!  We think my mom found a dress (for Lindsay's wedding) but the verdict isn't in yet.  The dress in the correct size will be sent to her in a few days.  No matter.  We had a great time and enjoyed our time together today.   If you happen to see my mom this weekend, make sure to wish her a Happy Birthday!!!!

SNOWMEN

After the snow this week, our friends' son (Tyler) came over for the afternoon.  Allen was in charge so I don't really know what happened that afternoon.  I didn't even know that he had taken pictures until I went to take few today.  I thought they were too cute!  I did see the boys as they got in the car to leave.  Rodrigo took Tyler by the hand and was trying to help him into the car.  Although Rigo is our baby, we can already see some leadership qualities in our little guy.  Tyler, of course, loved it!  :)   

THE WINDS OF CHANGE

Today was a good day.  It was a day of new beginnings for my two youngest daughters. 

First of all, Roselyn started track.  It was the first day and...so far, so good.  It seems to have gone very well.

Secondly, Steph got a job - her first one!  She will be working at Anderson Drug.  They called for an interview at 4 p.m. and offered her a job at 5 p.m.  That has to be some kind of record, don't you think??  I'm thinkin' that we will be livin' on EASY STREET very soon!  Congrats, Steph!  

Also, CONGRATS to Steph for getting an academic letter tonight.  Allen and I attended the Academic Lettering Ceremony at CIHS this evening.  Getting this letter as a sophomore is a big deal and we are very proud of  our Daughter #3.  Good job, Steph.  You go girl! 

The winds of change are blowing...  I can smell it!  The start of the track season is always a sign that spring is not too far off.  Too bad there is a big snow storm coming in tomorrow!  :(

SET APART

This Saturday, I went to a conference Set Apart for Women at Northwestern College.  During the week, my friend asked me if I would be interested in going.  I didn't think it would work, but Allen encouraged me to go ahead.   I had no expectations for the day and very little knowledge about the speakers.  I was just so excited to sit and listen.

One of the speakers had a very interesting life story.  It included three biological daughters and an unexpected call to adopt two boys.  I couldn't believe it when she started to speak!  It was as if God hand picked this lady and this message just for me!  I wasn't looking for any great word from God on Saturday, but I was very encouraged by her talk.

Lysa TerKeurst is her name.  She and her husband have three girls.  When this took place they were 9, 5 and  4.  She brought her 3 children to a boys choir concert for a good cultural experience.  These boys were all orphans from Liberia.  While Lysa sat listening to the beautiful harmonies of these boys, she felt as if God was  saying, "Two of these boys are yours, Lysa!"  She tried to ignore the thought, but couldn't get it out of her head.  Against all conventional wisdom and the advise of most of their friends, she and her husband adopted two teenage boys from that choir.  Over time, 14 families from their church followed suit to adopt over 30 children from this same orphanage!  It was an incredible story and very inspiring to me.

Lysa Terkeurst has a website which I would encourage you to check out.   Just google her name.  She (and the other adoptive families) were asked to do a 2-minute story on Oprah in 2006.  Lysa originally declined the offer to be on the show because she knew 2 minutes was not enough time to tell the whole story.  They would only agree to go ahead if they were given the freedom to talk freely about God and their faith journey.  Oprah evidently thought that was ok and they ended up doing a 15 minute segment on the story.  If you have a few minutes, look at it!  It is fascinating. 

The point of her talk on Saturday was how God can and will change you when you step out in faith and say YES to His call.  For me, it happened to be about family...about adoption.  No matter what it is, God will use these everyday experiences to mold us into the person he wants us to be.  Thanks, Cherie and Becky for spending the day with me!  It was a shot in the arm for me and really fun too!! 

OUR FAMILY

Here are some pictures that were taken at Thanksgiving time of our new family.  I don't know why it has taken me so long to share them, but...oh well...  It was a fun little "photo shoot"  I will be sharing a few more in the next few days.  I am proud of these pictures as they are the most recent pictures of our complete family.  Hope you enjoy these!

FEAR

I was talking to a friend of mine who is in the process of adopting.  We always have plenty to talk about.  As she expressed some thoughts about the uncertainty of the future, I was reminded of how fearful I felt even six months ago as we moved closer to our travel dates.  I should have blogged about it then, because it was on my mind all of the time.   (Maybe I did and I just have forgotten??!!)

What if???????????????????????????????

What if they don't like us?  What if they don't like me??

What if they don't want to come with us?

How should I act when we meet them on that first day?

Will I cry?  Will they cry?

How will things go when we get back to the States??

Will they make friends?

Will they respect me?  

Will they be affectionate towards us?  towards me??

How will this change my relationship with my other three daughters?

Will I be able to love them like I love my other three?

What kind of strain will this put on our marriage?

Will they be happy?  Will I be happy?

Will I have any control of my life?  Can I do this??

These questions only scratch the surface of all the fear I was feeling a few months back.  I am at a different place now and am happy to say that I do have the answers to some of these questions.  In case you were wondering...I did not cry when we met our kids.  They also did not cry.  It was all pretty low key except that I could see Roselyn put her hands over her face when we turned into the driveway at CSC.  We do have a tape of our first few minutes together so we can look back and remember all of those feelings. The other answer that I can report back to you is about the affection.  Each child responds to their mom's touch in a different way.  Allen and I are very deliberate as we look for opportunities to express our love through hugs, wrestling (not me!), back and foot rubs and kisses.  Much to my surprise, the boys are not afraid to show affection toward Allen and me...at least when we are at home.  One of them even said the other day..."Mom, why didn't you give me a hug when I got home today?"  Allen and I both feel like maybe we are making up for lost time.  At any rate, we now know the answer to a few of the initial questions, but it will take a lifetime to answer many of the other BIG questions.  

Fear of the unknown is REALLY scary... especially when you KNOW your life is going to change in a DRAMATIC way.  I think it is scarier than whatever actually comes to pass as you navigate through that uncertain chapter in your life.   In my experience, fear and worry are very different.  For me, worry is a nagging feeling that comes and goes.  I am not a big worrier.  I am generally pretty optimistic about life.  (I have however, had a few sleepless nights along the way.)  Fear... real fear is much more uncomfortable...much more intense.  I don't think I had ever experienced this kind of fear until we started down our path to adopting three children.  It is something that I continue to deal with, but as we learn more about each other and settle into our new life, it continues to get better.

The worst thing (and the best thing) about fear of the unknown is that it is totally out of my control.  It has stretched my faith like never before.  I have no choice but to trust God to use me in spite of my weaknesses, insecurities and unbelief...and to get me through to the next day.  That has been a good thing as I am learning to let go of my own agendas and expectations.  My job is to be faithful to this calling and to do the best that I can to make it happen.  It is a daily exercise for me to walk by faith and not by sight, but I am learning to face my fears a bit more courageously.  

Here are few quotes/verses that have inspired me along the way.  Maybe they can encourage you today!    

"Courage in not the absence of fear.  Courage is when you choose to acknowledge your fear, and look it in the face."  Unknown

"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You must do the thing which you think you cannot."  Eleanor Roosevelt

"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship."  Louisa May Alcott

MONSTERS IN MY CLOSET

I have been meaning to clean my closet for quite some time now.  I always have great intentions, but it never seems to get done.  Well, today was the day!  I alway think it might take an hour to do, but it usually takes several...

I don't consider myself a pack rat, but today I had to wonder...  My closet not only houses my clothing.  It is a storing house for other miscellaneous treasures that I have collected over the years.  Why is it so hard for me to get rid of those things that I never use??   Is this a sign of insecurity or am I just sentimental??  My biggest problem is with stuff that other people have given to me.  I am sure that in most cases, the gift has been long-forgotten by the giver.  The problem is with me.  I just feel so guilty and can't bear the thought of throwing it because I know that my mom, my husband, my kids or my friends took the time to pick that something special for me.  It doesn't matter if I never wear it or would NEVER display it in my house.  So...it just sits in my closet.  

At any rate, I think that I made some progress today by unloading a few things that had no business being in my closet.  I threw away some things that had made the cut in previous cleanings.  I gave two boxes away and threw away two boxes!  I suppose I could have done more, but I guess that it was a start.  Rigo found a few treasures that I had buried deep in my closet and under my bed.  I was slightly mortified when he pulled out a large unopened puzzle from deep beneath my bed with PLAYGIRL written in big letters across the front.  It was given to me for my 40th birthday and had a display of 20 shirtless hunks on the front.  There was nothing obscene about it, but when my 6-year-old son asked, "What's this, Mom?", I just about croaked!  I quickly grabbed it out of his hands and just said..."Oh, this is really nothing" and whisked it away in a hurry.  How embarrassing for me even though I'm sure he didn't have a clue.   You may be wondering why I decided to keep such a thing.  In my own defense, I think my plan was to regift this puzzle for someone else's 40th birthday, but I evidently forgot that I had saved it.

Moral of the story.  Beware when you start to dig deep in the closets of your house.  You never know what little monsters you might discover!  

  

ADOPTION

This little conversation took place today...

Romeo- "Lindsay and Bjork.  When you get married, you will have children?"

Lindsay-"Well, yes...but not for a long, long time!!"

Mary- "Yes, maybe Bjork and Lindsay will have two biological children, then adopt two children.

Romeo- "YES!  There are some REALLY cute babies in the Cherne House (at CSC)!"

Lindsay- "Really!  Well, maybe we would decided to adopt from someplace other than CSC..."

Rodrigo- "Oh, that is TOO BAD!"

This doesn't seem all that funny to read, but it definitely was at the time.  I guess you had to be there!  :)

ROSELYN'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

Today we celebrated Roselyn's 16th birthday.  Her real birthday is on March 4, but today was the day our family could get together.  My Mom and Dad AND! my sister, Nancy joined us for lunch!  After cake and ice cream, we moved to the living room to open gifts.  It takes a little longer now as everyone usually has something to share.

Highlights for the day...

*Watching my newest daughter as we gathered around to support and affirm her.  It is hard to believe that I didn't even know her one year ago.  I am sorry that we missed out on the first 15 years of her life.  She is a beautiful young woman with so much promise and potential.  I am excited to see where God leads her.

*Watching Roselyn smile.  It lights up the room.

*Sharing our celebration with my sister.  It is important to me that our new kids know our extended family.  That is difficult to do in a big family gathering.  I appreciated the effort that she took to be here.  When I asked the kids about her later, they described her as "fun".  Yep, she sure is.  Thanks, Nance.

Downers for the day...

*Kristin was missing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MISS ROSELYN!!!