Lindsay turned 23 on Tuesday of this week. We did a little family celebration last weekend complete with cake (brownies) and "spoons". The older our kids get, the faster the years go by. Kind of scary to think I have a child who is well into her 20's! Anyway...what would we do without Lindsay? Unfortunately, one child needs to pave the way for the rest. She has done that. I have a writing that I found recently about the First, Middle and Last Child. It is kind of outdated now that we have doubled our family, but I remember reading it and thinking how true much of it was. Here it is...
TO THE FIRST BORN---
I've always loved you best because you were our first miracle. You were the genesis of a marriage, the fulfillment of a young love, the promise of our infinity---You sustained us through the hamburger years...the first apartment furnished in "Early Poverty" ... and our first mode of transportation (our feet). You were new, had unused grandparents, and had more clothes than a Barbie doll. You were the "original model" for unsure parents trying to work the bugs out. You got the strained lamb, open pins and three hour naps.
You were the beginning.
TO THE MIDDLE CHILD---
I've always loved you best because you drew a dumb spot in the family and it made you stronger for it. You cried less, had more patience, wore faded clothes and never in your life did anything "first" - but it only made you more special. You are the one we relaxed with - realizing a dog could kiss you and you wouldn't get sick. You could cross a street by yourself long before you were old enough to get married - and the work wouldn't come to an end if you went to bed with dirty feet. --- You were the child of our busy, ambitious, years. Without you we would never have survived the job changes, the house we couldn't afford...the tedium and routine that is marriage.
You were the continuance.
TO THE BABY---
I've always loved you best because endings are generally sad and you are such a joy. You readily accepted the milk-stained bibs...the lower bunk...the used soccer ball. The baby book, barren but for a recipe for graham cracker pie crust that someone jammed between the pages. You are the one we held onto tightly. For you see, you are the link with a past that gives a reason for tomorrow. You darken our hair, quicken our steps, square our shoulders, restore our vision, and give us humor that security and maturity can't give us. ---When your hair turns grey and your children tower over you, you will still be "the Baby".
You were the culmination.
I guess that I have a lot to say about this little writing, but I have Lindsay on the brain today. There is definitely something about the "first born" that changes you. There are so many cherished moments Lindsay and I have shared. The weird thing is that she has no recollection of many of those times. She and I lived through Allen's medical school years together. He was gone much of the time and it wasn't necessarily a lot of fun for us...but she definitely helped me to get through those years. It is very true about the "first born" paving the way for the other children in the family. She has done everything first. First time at school, first time going away to camp, first teenager, first boyfriend, first kiss, first "attitude", first break-up, first to leave home...first wedding!
The other thing our "first born" does is to help us grow up in a way like never before. She is still challenging me to grow and teaching me about letting go. It is a good thing and I just think..."Wow! Look at her now! Not only is she my daughter, but she is my friend." Hopefully, she has helped Allen and me to become better people in the last 23 years.
Well, Happy Birthday, Lindsay. Hope you had a super-duper day!!!!
