AFTER THE CEREMONY...

IS IT ANY WONDER...

IS IT ANY WONDER THAT I LOVE THIS GUY??

IT'S TIME

I can't believe how fast this summer has gone by...is it really almost September? Vacations are finished, fall sports have started, and my kids are READY to get back to school. Or maybe I should say...I am READY for my kids to get back to school! It's not that I don't love being with them every minute of the day. They are always up for an adventure...but I am running out of things to do! Rush City Pool, the Science Museum, Como Zoo, MOA, shopping, bowling, fishing, bike rides... We have done a lot of fun things this summer, but it's time for everyone to get back to a normal schedule.

The one thing that I love about summer is all the free time. The one thing that drives me crazy about summer is all the free time. Those carefree days of summer seem to become an excuse to become very unproductive and lazy. Or so it seems. My biggest struggle these days is to keep a handle on "screen time". Can we watch a movie? Can I be on the computer? Can I play Wii? Can I play Mario Karts? Can we watch TV?? All of these questions come whether it is 50 degrees and raining or a beautiful day! I don't remember all of this "screen time" the first time around with our older kids. For one thing, we didn't even have a computer when Lindsay and Kristin were little. Who ever heard of Wii? For those two and Steph... their hours of "screen time" were spent playing Polly Pockets down in their dark closet (most often on a beautiful sunny day!) Now that I think of it...that drove me crazy too! :) I have to admit that "screen time" has been a life saver for me on many days, but I live with a lot of guilt for not planning fun (and educational) activities every day of the week. I hate the thought of kids sitting in front of the tube or being sucked into a trance with video games, but I'm also guilty of using them to buy a little time.

We have about ten days before school starts. Any suggestions for me as we come around the final bend of summer? This has been a great few months of bonding and learning how to be a family, but I am afraid that it is time for all of us to get back to work. We are in need of structure at my house. It's time.

FINALLY! MORE WEDDING PICS

Time to look back at our June 6 wedding. I know that these pictures have been on facebook for some of you, but I thought I would post some of my favorites! If it looks like it was a great day...it's because it was! I'll post more later!

RELIVING OUR FIRST DAY TOGETHER...

We have friends in Cambridge that have spent the week in the Philippines. They went to pick up their two new daughters from the Children's Shelter of Cebu. It has been so exciting to hear a little of what has been happening there. We have emailed back and forth about their journey and wow! it really takes me back... I often think about our first week together with Roselyn, Romeo and Rodrigo in the Philippines, but hearing it first hand has reminded me of how emotionally intense it was for me. I will never be able to explain what was going on in my head during that week. I can try, but really...Allen is the only one that can ever truly know what it was really like. I like to think back and remember what it was like.

The first intense rush of feelings that week came even before we left. I will never forget saying goodbye to Steph that morning. It was like every other morning. She got ready for school. I would normally bring her to school and drop her off around 8:00. On this day, we brought her early because Allen and I had to get going... It's probably good, because there weren't so many people around yet. Instead of simply saying goodbye from the car, Allen and I got out of the car to hug our baby goodbye. As usual, it was probably most emotional for me. I guess I think too much about things. None of us knew what our life would look like in a few weeks, but we knew it was about to drastically change. I felt guilty for leaving Steph behind, but she seemed to be handling it like a pro. In spite of some mixed feelings, I knew that she would be fine. Nontheless, that was the first step in our journey to Cebu and I will never forget it.

The next big moment for me was when we arrived at CSC to pick up the kids. Would they come running to hug us? Would they cry? Would I cry?? Would they be afraid? How should I act? I remember asking other people what those first few moments were like. I wanted to know what to expect. Well, everyone is different and every experience is different. I had to go with no expectations. (Hard for me to do!!) The whole experience was kind of surreal. I saw Romeo playing basketball and Rodrigo running around on the grass. Roselyn was sitting on the steps just watching and waiting. She put her hands over her face (in excitement, I think) when we drove up. As we got out of the van, the three of them slowly made their way over to us. There were hugs, but not a lot of emotion. We sort of engaged in small talk with them and I guess you could say...it was sort of awkward. How else do you meet your new parents?...or your new children? I'm glad that it wasn't a big cryfest or anything. It seemed pretty normal, I guess considering the magnitude of the moment! Eventually, Allen pulled out a frisbee and we started to play with our kids. The weird thing about this is that the other kids at the shelter didn't engage in our play. It was pretty obvious that they were instructed to NOT play with us. Once in a while, one of the kids would grab the frisbee. The aunties were quick to pull them back. So...most of the kids just stood around and watched us. It is a moment of pride (maybe?) for the kids being adopted and a bittersweet moment for the kids who will be staying behind. I think that the kids staying behind are genuinely happy for those who get chosen, but it must also be a difficult thing to watch. I didn't like being the center of attention. At the very least, there was a lot of curiosity about these new parents who had come. Later that evening, when all the kids went into the house for mealtime, we had a private dinner outside at the picnic table. This too, was a rite of passage for the adopted kids. It was our first meal together. I'm glad that I have pictures of this day. It was a life-changing day. It was exciting, awkward, scary, happy and bittersweet all at once. I was glad when it was over. It turned out to be a very good day. I am anxious for the day when I can help our kids articulate what their memories were of that day.

The biggest day for me was when we left the shelter for the last time. Roselyn, Romeo and Rodrigo came to the hotel with us for the first time. They were so cute and eager to start out on their new journey. For Allen and me, it was a bit overwhelming. Up until now, we had been able to retreat to the quiet and privacy of our hotel room. We liked privacy. We liked quiet. We had suddenly doubled our ranks and there was not much privacy OR quiet. Everything was so new, exciting and scary for all of us. At the end of the day, after our children were asleep, I stood and just looked at them. There they were...three children who needed a home. Three children who needed us. It was that simple. Our journey had begun.

I wish I could describe the feelings of that week. I'm afraid that I have only scratched the surface. It was the most adventurous, frightening and worthwhile thing I have ever done. I have enjoyed spending a little time reliving that week as I hear about my friend's adoption . I can't wait to see them and their children. I am excited to think that we are 9 months down the road. My kids are now the veterans...??? and maybe we can be helpful to their family as they begin their transition.

Notice all the kids sitting around watching...

Our first 12 hours at the hotel...

ONE LONE CALLA LILY

I took these pictures last week. This flower was left over from Lindsay and Bjorks' wedding. Pretty amazing, don't you think? It looked the same today when I checked!

ABOUT BLOGGING

I went to a movie this week where the story centered around a young woman who decided to blog about cooking for one year. (The movie was Julie and Julia and I thought it was quite entertaining!) There was one dialog (actually it was an argument) where Julie's (the blogger) husband described her obsession with blogging. He referred to her as narcissistic and self-absorbed. Since I have my own blog, I struggle with this idea and it isn't the first time I've thought about it. There is certainly a lot of truth about this claim. Blogging is generally all about ME. So, what do I do with that? I know that there are people who read my blog and think..."Why would you tell people about this?...it's really nobody's business and really...wouldn't it be better to spend your time doing something for someone else rather than talking about yourself?" I know this because people have told me so...in a nice way, of course.

I don't want to be defensive about all of this, but maybe I feel the need to justify what I do. Just for the record, I do feel a bit self-conscious about sharing my life with...whoever might be out there in blogland. Unselfishness is a value that Allen and I try to model. Talking about our family and posting pictures about our family seems kind of...inward. In general, people are pretty positive about my blog, but I know there are some that would call it narcissistic and self-absorbed.

Well, I guess there is some truth to that, but I do think that for me there is, and has been great value in sharing our story with you. I'm pretty sure I've blogged about this, but I need to remind myself again of why I have a blog.

1. It is an outlet for me! It helps me to feel connected with people. I have been very encouraged by the people who comment and say they read.

2. I think that it maybe helps some people feel connected to our family!

3. It is a way to stay connected with my kids who don't live at home and my extended family.

4. When I get the chance, I really do like to write. I like to be quiet and just think. Sometimes, I'm sad. Sometimes I am so happy. Sometimes, I am just thoughtful. I guess I just like expressing myself.

5. It is a good record of what our life has been like since we adopted our kiddos! I even like looking back to see what we were doing six months ago.

6. I hope that some of the things that I write about are helpful to other people who are struggling with similar issues.

7. Truly, it is therapeutic for me. I like to organize my thoughts. (Maybe I am saving thousands of dollars by not seeing a therapist!!?) :)

8. Allen is my biggest fan. (That's not really a good reason, but it's true!) :) Thanks, sweetheart!

I don't know. Is this blogging a bad thing? Is it a waste of time?? It does take some time to sit down and do it. It is a lot about ME and MY family. I just hope that there is some value in journaling and maybe I have helped someone else along the way. I haven't been so good about blogging this summer, but I HOPE to get back at it this fall. I have wedding pictures and lots of stuff from this summer that I plan on posting.

Anyway, those are my thoughts today! :)

MY LIFE WITH BOYS!

WOW! My life has taken a turn for...boys. In the last year, we have added three permanent boys to the family and two boy friends. I must say that it is quite fun! And these people of the male persuasion are...different... from girls. One of the favorite activities for our

boys is fishing. Allen and the "little" boys love fishing by our house. They would spend all day every day down there if they could. Fishing is pretty much nonstop when we are at "the cabin". They are fascinated with it! One morning, the boys went for an early morning fishing excursion. I walked out the door to see them out on the pontoon casting away... It was SO fun for me to see Allen and THE BOYS out fishing. My husband NEVER complained about having only girls in our previous life...but seeing him out with the guys made my heart glad. I think it made him pretty happy too.

We have a tradition of doing a night swim at least once during the summer. This summer it was a problem because of the cold weather.

We waited until the last night in hopes of warm weather. It didn't happen. The girls challenged the boys to a friendly game of charades. It was tight, but the girls came out ahead. (whew!!) Losers got the night swim. Brrrrrrrrrrr! I love these last pictures because they remind me of a fun, fun night! I also love it because these are some of my very favorite people! Thanks guys, for being such good sports and making life fun! :)

THE REST OF THE STORY...

After I had blogged the "TYLER" post earlier today, Allen shared yet another sweet story about the lad. First of all, you should know that Allen has "celebrity status" with Tyler. When he sees Allen outside of the clinic, he often points and yells..."Dr. Moak!!" Of course, Allen loves this because such outbursts are few and far between. Who wouldn't love it??

After a fun afternoon of sun and sand, Allen and the boys piled in the car to head back to Tyler's house. Out of the blue...Tyler looked up at Allen and said, "Dr. Moak, I weely wuv you!!!" It just doesn't get any better. Allen will be flyin' high for weeks! :)

TYLER

*Rigo has a little friend named Tyler. He is only 4 years old and he came to our house today. I get such a kick out of Tyler cause he says such cute things! I'm pretty sure that Tyler thinks Rigo is a pretty cool guy. After all, what could be better than hanging out with a 7-year-old boy? They both have Spiderman underwear, they both like Legos, they both LOVE doing stuff with "Dr. Mork" and they even have the same booster seat! Anyway, it is fun to watch the two. Rigo doesn't get much of a chance to be the "leader" (as he calls it) because he is the youngest in our big family. So it is nice for him to show the ropes to this little guy.

Today, as they were eating their Happy Meals in McD Playland, complete with nuggets and apple juice...I saw the cutest thing. All of the sudden, Tyler looked up at Rigo and quietly said...."I love you, Rigo". It was SO cute. I didn't want to laugh, but I came pretty close. At the very least...it brought a huge smile to my face!

* Kristin came home after her anatomy final. I walked toward Tyler asking Kristin..."So, are you going to take a nap this afternoon?" Unfortunately, Tyler thought I was talking to him. He had this concerned look on his face, looked at me and said (very politely, I might add) "I don't want to take a nap!" Poor guy. He had just changed into his swim trunks and was ready for the beach! I think I kind of took the wind out of his sails. Imagine how relieved he was when he realized that I wasn't talking to him.

*Later in the car, a praise song came on the radio. First Tyler started to sing...then Rigo. Again, SO cute and....well...music to my ears! A little off-tune, but none-the-less...music. We had a great day with Tyler!